Sent in by Karl B.
A sign that we'd like to see in all hotels:
PETS ALLOWED
In response to a prospective guest's inquiry, a hotel manager replied: "I've been in this business for 30 years. Never have I called on the police to eject a disorderly dog. Never has a dog set fire to a bed with a cigarette. I have never found a hotel towel in a dog's suitcase nor a whiskey ring on a dresser."
"Sure, the dog is welcome. If the dog will vouch for you, come along too. Your dog is most welcome at our hotel"
Sent in by Kris
please click this link for some fun trivia, as well as tips for (potential) golden owners. I just discovered the site myself. Good luck and hope it helps.
Sent in by Tom M.
"Now that I know men, I prefer the company of my dogs."
Frederick The Great, King of Prussia (1712-1786).
Considered an enlightened and kind monarch, Frederick ruled for nearly a half century and died on August 17, 1786 in the armchair of his study in Sanssouci, the summer palace. The old king's last wish was to be buried in a garden next to his favourite dogs. Frederick's son ignored his father's request and ordered him to be buried in the Potsdam garrison church near Berlin - absent the king's most loyal and beloved canine friends.
The church was destroyed in an air raid (1945).
~ Rescue Angels ~
Author Unknown
Sent in by Linda S.
Tail tucked between your legs,
Confusion in your eyes -
I know it's hard to understand
That someone heard your cries.
When loneliness is all you know
And pain is all you feel
And no one can be trusted,
And hunger's all too real...
That's the time the Lord sees you
And lets you know He's there
That's when He sends His messengers
The hearts that love and care.
Yes, rescuers are angels
You cannot see their wings,
They keep them neatly folded
As they do their caring things.
The medicine to make you well
Good food to make you strong,
And finally to help you learn
That hugs are never wrong.
The perfect place then must be found
The home where you can live
Secure and safe and happy
With joy to get and give.
When you reach your Forever Home,
Your place to now feel whole,
The Angels smile, and off they go
To save another soul.
Sent in by Lee G.
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
- Anonymous
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
- Will Rogers
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
- Ann Landers
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
- Ben Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than they love themselves.
- Josh Billings
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
- Andy Rooney
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
- M. Acklam
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
- Rita Rudner
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never bathed a dog.
- Franklin P.
If your dog is fat, YOU aren't getting enough exercise.
- Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
- Joe Weinstein
Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? We come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
- Anne Tyler
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
- Dave Barry
Dogs are not our whole life, but they do make our lives whole.
- Roger Caras
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
- Phil Pastoret
My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am.
- Unknown
The Following Breeds are Now Recognized:
Collie + Lhasa Apso
Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport
Spitz + Chow Chow
Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot
Pointer + Setter
Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund
Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso
Peekasso, an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel
Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever
Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists
Newfoundland + Basset Hound
Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog
Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador
Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly
Malamute + Pointer
Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway
Collie + Malamute
Commute, a dog that travels to work
Deerhound + Terrier
Derriere, a dog that's true to the end
Bull Terrier + Shitzu
Oh, never mind....
Thanks to Eric B. for sending.
Dog Rules
- Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in a specially built wooden compartment named, for very good reason, the dog house.
- Okay, the dog can enter the house, but only for short visits or if his own house is under renovation.
- Okay, the dog can stay in the house on a permanent basis, provided his dog house can be sold in a yard sale to a rookie dog owner.
- Inside the house, the dog is not allowed to run free and is confined to a comfortable but secure metal cage.
- Okay, the cage becomes part of a two-for-one deal along with the dog house in the yard sale, and the dog can go wherever he pleases.
- The dog is never allowed on the furniture.
- Okay, the dog can get on the old furniture but not the new furniture.
- Okay, the dog can get up on the new furniture until it looks like the old furniture and then we'll sell the whole darn works and buy new furniture...upon which the dog will most definitely not be allowed.
- The dog never sleeps on the bed. Period.
- Okay, the dog can sleep at the foot of the bed.
- Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you, but he's not allowed under the covers.
- Okay, the dog can sleep under the covers but not with his head on the pillow.
- Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you under the covers with his head on the pillow, but if he snores he's got to leave the room.
- Okay, the dog can sleep and snore and have nightmares in bed, but he's not to come in and sleep on the couch in the TV room, where I'm now sleeping. That's just not fair.
- The dog never gets listed on the census questionnaire as "primary resident," even if it's true.
How to Bathe the Cat
- Thoroughly clean toilet.
- Lift both lids and add shampoo.
- Find and soothe cat as you carry him to bathroom.
- In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids, and stand on top...so cat cannot escape.
- The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds. (Ignore ruckus from inside toilet - cat is enjoying this.)
- Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective. Cat is too big to go down the drain.
- Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible, and quickly lift both lids.
- Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors, where he will air dry. Cat will return when hungry.
Sincerely,
The Dog
Weather Prediction
Sent in by Lee G.
To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining.
But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.
If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.
If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.
Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.
Sincerely, The CAT
 Do you think your golden is just the cutest thing ever? Take a picture and send it to Cutest Pet Contest and you could win cash and prizes!
Thank you Tracie for sending this in!
Dog Property Laws
Sent in by Nancy V.
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to yours in any way.
6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours.
A RESCUER'S PROMISE
A dog picked up from the shelter,
A cat dropped at my door...
A puppy found roaming on the highway,
I can't take it anymore!
I sit and look into your eyes
As I sit and stroke your fur
And I begin to realize
I wish I knew so much more...
I would give all that I have
For one minute of speech from you
Tell me what happened to bring you here
And what would you have me do?
Were you a member of a family
That had to leave their home?
With no place to take and keep you,
They set you out to roam?
Were you given as a puppy to a little child
Who had no time for you?
Were you left outside in the broiling sun,
With nothing to drink but dew?
Was your person someone elderly
Who loved you as a friend,
And when they went on to heaven
Their family turned you in?
One moment of understanding
Is all I would ever need
To do everything in my power
To undo this awful deed.
However you got here to me,
What ever roads you roamed,
I make you a solemn promise -
I WILL FIND YOU A GOOD HOME.
A home where they love and need you,
Where you never fear a hand,
A home with soft beds, warm hearts, kind words,
And more love than you can demand.
I don't give my promises easily,
I don't make promises I can't keep.
So I hope you understand what I'm saying to you,
Even without that one minute of speech.
I will find you a good home, I promise -
No matter how long it may be.
And until that time and that home comes along,
I'll make your home here with me.
Denise Painter
10/08/08
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A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like Mother of Pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered. "Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked "Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some iced water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open. "Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in too?" the traveler asked. "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. "Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there." The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in." "How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog. "There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, and then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.
"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked. "This is Heaven," was the answer.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use heaven's name like that?"
"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who are willing to leave their pets behind."
Before I Was A Dog Mom
by Carol Wat
Sent in by Linda S.
Before I was a Dog Mom:
I made and ate hot meals unmolested.
I had unstained, unfurred clothes.
I had quiet conversations on the phone, even if the doorbell rang.
Before I was a Dog Mom:
I slept as late as I wanted
And never worried about how late I got to bed
or if I could get into my bed.
Before I was a Dog Mom:
I cleaned my house every day.
I never tripped over toys, stuffies, chewies
Or invited the neighbor's dog over to play.
Before I was a Dog Mom:
I didn't worry if my plants, cleansers, plastic bags,
toilet paper, soap or deodorant
were poisonous or dangerous.
Before I was a Dog Mom:
I had never been peed on
Pooped on
Drooled on
Chewed on
Or pinched by puppy teeth.
Before I was a Dog Mom:
I had complete control of
My thoughts,
My body and mind.
I slept all night without sharing the covers or pillow.
Before I was a Dog Mom:
I never looked into big, soulful eyes and cried.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't
stop a hurt.
I never knew something so furry and four-legged
could affect my heart so deeply.
Before I was a Dog Mom:
I had never held a sleeping puppy just because I couldn't put it down.
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes
to make sure all was well.
I didn't know how warm it feels inside to feed a hungry puppy.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.
Before I was a Dog Mom:
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being
A Dog Mom.
IF I DIDN'T HAVE DOGS:
Sent in by Chris S.
I could walk around the yard barefoot in safety.
My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated.
All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be free of dog hair.
When the doorbell rings, it wouldn't sound like the kennels.
When the doorbell rings, I could get to the door without wading through dog bodies who beat me there.
I could sit on the couch the way I wanted, without taking into consideration how much space several fur bodies would need to get comfortable.
I would not have strange presents under my Christmas tree -- dog bones, stuffed animals - nor would I have to answer to people why I wrap them.
I would not be on a first-name basis with three veterinarians.
The most used words in my vocabulary would not be: "out", "sit", "down", "come", "no", "stay", and "leave him/her/it ALONE".
My house would not be cordoned off into zones with baby gates or barriers.
My pockets would not contain things like poop bags, dog treats and an extra leash.
I would no longer have to spell the words B-A-L-L-, F-R-I-S-B-E-E, or W-A-L-K.
I would not have as many leaves INSIDE my house as outside.
I would not look strangely at people who think having ONE dog ties them down too much.
I'd look forward to spring and the melting of snow instead of dreading "mud season".
I would not have to answer the question "Why do you have so many dogs?" from people who will never have the joy in their lives of knowing they are loved unconditionally by something as close to an angel as they will ever get.
How empty my life would be.
Author Unknown
Did you adopt a senior golden?
If you did and would like to spread the word on how great they are, please fill out the email form on the bottom of our senior page.
The Truth About Dog Breeds - Laughing Dog Press
Breed of the Month:
The Golden Retriever
The Border Collie has "the eye", an unblinking stare that is used to get what they want. The Golden has something equally unnerving, "The Eye Shift." During The Eye Shift, the Golden darts their eyes back and forth between you and any tennis ball. This is done without any perceptible movement of their heads.  The Eye Shift can be done at any angle to accommodate a ball on the floor or hidden high on a bookshelf. It is impossible to hide a ball from a Golden, and every effort to do so will be defeated. Living with the Eye Shift is like living with a non-stop tennis match. Golden Retriever owners learn to ignore it or run the risk of developing vertigo.
Read the complete article.
Dear Dog and Cat,
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate & food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food & dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. (I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.)
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. (In addition, I have been using the bathroom for years...canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.)
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs or cats' butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
Rules for Non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets:
They live here; you don't.
If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
I like my pet better than I like most people.
To you it's an animal. To me he and/or she is an adopted son and/or daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and is speech challenged.
Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug using friends, don't drink or smoke, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.
Room for one More Dog~ Author Unknown
Sent in by Linda S.
I see by his coat he must be a stray,
the untidy look gives him away.
He's lost his will and is so thin
hasn't eaten, since God knows when.
I know as I coax him through the door,
There's always room for one more.
The other night in the freezing rain,
That little female came again.
Matted and soaked crying in need,
lost and alone with babies to feed.
Her pleading eyes I couldn't ignore,
There's always room for one more.
There's a new face on the docks today,
hungry but clean to our dismay,
I stroked her head Her body ripples
when she got up I saw she was crippled
she started to go, but fell on the floor.
There's always room for one more.
There's the poor doggy standing in the rain,
I've tried to entice him time and again.
One ears lopsided the other's been torn,
Blind in one eye lost and forlorn.
He's coming now, so I'll open the door.
There's always room for one more.
These stories are true, as I've said before,
There's always room for one more.
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